It’s that time of year again, and for my second time, I will be participating in the NAMIWalks for the Mind of America. This is NAMI’s signature walkathon event and is being held in Hemet, CA at Diamond Valley Lake Marina on October 27th, 2006. I will be walking with the same friend as last time and one more I convinced to come along, so our team (Panacea) will be a whopping three members. No matter, I know we’ll have a good time just like last year and I have a feeling there will be a much larger group of walkers this year.

Please support me in this walk, if not financially, then with encouragement and humor. . If you’re interested, visit the (very basic) Panacea Team Site where you can see who else is walking with me. There is also a link so you can donate online. Donating online is fast and secure, and I’ll get immediate notification via e-mail of your donation. Although the page will update how many donations have been received, I will also post updates on here periodically if I receive any.

I’ve never been one to ask for donations, sponsors and such, but I think I finally have a cause which interests me and actually affects me directly. The most important thing for someone with mental illness is medical care as I have found out far too many times over the years. I have my medication, but even still I pay for it out of pocket due to lack of resources. For those that don’t have access to help, I can’t even imagine how difficult it must be. A judge may see me as weak, or lesser than another because of this illness, but it has created a stronger and more determined soul out of me. So I will walk, to prove to myself I can, to show Ashleigh what her mother can do, and to do my part in bringing help to those who need it.

I’m still around…adjusting, and dealing with a broken heart everyday. Thank goodness for work and for some new friends that have kept me going the last few weeks.

I am working on setting up a new domain to continue writing but it will be done anonymously. Those who requested or received my password earlier will get an email once it’s set up. For others who didn’t, write me and let me know who you are and I’ll consider. Please understand I do this because I no longer feel safe writing here, as I feel even my most deepest feelings could possibly be used against me in the future.

Losing a job because of a blog…that’s nothing. Losing your child? That’s just fucked up.  I will walk in the NAMI Walk this October, and I will continue to show how being bipolar is not a curse, it is not something which makes me “unfit”. My bipolar disorder and this site has brought me closer to so many people I never would’ve imagined meeting in person. Panacea HAS been my cure-all and has helped me greatly over its seven and a half years in existence.