Wow, I’m amazed at how blatant some people are with their plagiarism. I was reading on the Discussion Board for my history class, which is where our teacher has us post all our homework. Now, I’m not thrilled with sharing my answers with everyone but I’m used to it now. I was just completely stunned by how many people didn’t even bother to put the answers in their own words. With all the sites out there for information I was able to pinpoint a minimum of three people and where I recognized the sentences from. Word-for-word.

I hate this class, but I’m at least making the effort to use my own words when answering questions. Amazing. Do they honestly think the teacher won’t mark them on that? In my Anthropology class I’d be kicked out, no questions for such obvious idiocy. I don’t recall my History teacher’s rules, but sheesh. It’s college, people. Write!

Why can’t I have any friends with a few extra thousand dollars I could borrow so I could just get the fuck out of here? Ugh, I feel so unwanted here I just want to go. Now.

The good thing about Lithium: doesn’t take forever to kick in gear
The bad thing about Lithium: doesn’t take forever to kick in gear and you never know what minor side affects you’ll get.

I feel drunk. In a “I can’t stop talking, want to keep dancing, can’t concentrate on my anthropology studies but completely understand my Math tonight” way.

I didn’t even have to drink any Absolut or Southern Comfort. Hmm. I know it’ll go away and will be in my system by tomorrow, but damn. This was legal.

Sure beats the twitching and shaking of hands I had last time.

So, while waiting forever and a day for my long-desired Lithobid ($45+ now) I looked around Walmart, doing my best to waste time. I tried on some shoes and they were comfy…so comfy I was trying to figure out how I could afford them, even at $10. They’re like regular black shoes you’d wear with some slacks but have the open heal and I like them no matter how many times I used to wonder why people wore that style. I’d like to be one of them people, thankyouverymuch. My question, though, is would they be appropriate for working in an office? Or maybe appropriate, just not for an interview?

Sigh. I need to get a decent pair of slacks (I don’t do skirts anymore) for interviews and such now that I’m back into the whole office thing. Oy. And I suppose some dress socks that aren’t striped. Heh.

I just painted my toe nails. It’s been years since I’ve done this. Not the best job but it’s enough to make me happy and I’m smiling like a giddy…something. I’m off to tackle my decent sized To Do list with a bit of excitement today.

I’m doing much better, now, thanks. it’s amazing how great the world is around me once I realized I decide how I feel about myself. I am awesome and no one else can tell me otherwise. Well, they could try but it doesn’t matter anymore.

Anyone care to buy me a ticket to Seattle? I sure could use it.

Oh, yeah…this is the first week I’ve had nearly all my homework done before Sunday night at 9PM. Something must finally be working around here.

I hate asking for help, I like to be able to manage everything on my own, but I can’t right now. I need help. Single mothers, fathers, how do/did you do it? I have six to ten months to prepare, save money, but I don’t know where to start. Yeah, I’m looking for a part time job right now and will work full-time next year. Any suggestions on what to do to get ready for surviving and supporting myself and Ash?

It’s a bit hard to concentrate on Art and History right now but I’m trying. I need to get B’s or above to keep my financial aid and it looks like it’ll be what helps me more than anything.

I’m embarrassed but I’ll get over it. Sucks to realize trying your best just isn’t enough for some people.

Thank the fucking world I have an appointment on Tuesday for medication. I’ve never needed it more than I do now. I suppose it’s a good thing I can’t even stomach to self-medicate anymore.

More reading and then snuggling with my babe when she gets home, then off to the gym and pool. Ash, school, gym, pool, my only focus or I’m just not here.

I am trying very hard to stay calm but I sure don’t feel calm. I’m angry, bitter, and feeling pretty damn betrayed right now. I’m tried of trying to be someone I’m not and I’m tired of trying to be happy when I am so unhappy I end up crying in front of my daughter.

I have so much to say, but can’t say a thing. I’ve never felt so alone. The only things keeping me going right now are Ashleigh and my true family and friends that I can count on one hand. I miss life.

A lot of things are going crazy these days but one good bit is Ashleigh has nearly potty trained herself. I have no clue why one day, last Friday, she decided she as going to pee in the toilet, but I don’t really care why. She’s gone in the toilet since Friday with only two accidents, and those were only because she couldn’t get her Pull-Up off fast enough. I swore I’d never see this day and that potty training would be hell. Huh. Guess if I leave it to her it’s not so bad.

So now she has her Nemo pants and only needs the Pull-Ups for pooping’. I can completely handle this! With school and everything else I am so grateful she’s taking the lead on this. Oh, and you parents will understand why this is so big, she even told me and went at Target and Chuck E Cheeses. On her own! We rarely have to ask her. Yes, a very happy momma right now.

Now, if we could just get her to sleep before midnight we’ll be good.