We came home last night, thanks to my nifty ear ache and nasty cold. Oh well, nothing too exciting was happening at John’s parents. Ashleigh had a blast opening her presents so it was all worth it, though. It started snowing as we packed up and drove down the mountain, so at least I got to see some.

I’ll have pictures up from her birthday and Christmas during the first week of January. Ugh, I feel like crap. Back to bed. I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday.

Just a quick note to link to the recent scrap page I did about Fox. Yeah, he’s gone and I DO NOT miss him.

Fox Tribute at Nifty Scrappin’.

And yes, I’m still sick and getting worse. Losing my voice even. Nothing like keeping the tradition of being sick during the holidays. We’re off to the mountains this afternoon to share Christmas with John’s parents. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday!

Ugh. Ashleigh is sick with a minor cold, but man, she sure is whiny. She’s been sneezing flying not for a couple days, but didn’t start coughing until today. At least she took some medicine and is taking a nap right now.

I thought I was going to make it but nopers, the sneezes started a few hours ago. Bleh. So long as the eyes don’t start watering or my ears aren’t filled with fluids and I’ll manage. Sick for Christmas. Yippy.

Our little monster turned two today. Gen wasn’t kidding when she said just when you think they’re acting like they’re two, the day of their birthday, they really start being a two-year-old. Ashleigh has been so adorable these days I really can’t complain (except for the poop festivities of late, but that doesn’t seem to be going away anytime soon).

Ash didn’t get much from us, a Rolie Polie Olie book and a Little Tikes Drum, but she had a blast opening them. After all those months of her pushing me away, she now asks us to read her books to her, so I’m glad she liked her new one. I was a little surprised when she opened her drum because it was if she knew exactly what it was. Immediately she picked up the sticks and held them as if she’d used them before. That’s my amazing dancing girl, the one who grooves to commercials even.

There are more pictures and more things to share, but I’m exhausted. So much for scrapping tonight, but I’m sure I’ll be catching up during my month off of school (I snuck by with a D in my Geography class…whew). I did manage three pages in the week, a much needed therapy. I’ve posted the recent stuff at Nifty Scrappin’ if you’re so inclined to look. It’s impossible to not share this stuff…I love what I do and the results just make me so happy sometimes.

Good news…I’m getting a B in Astronomy (my teacher rocks for emailing grades so we don’t have to wait forever). My final exam score was 69, which cracked up my own juvenile ass. At least I passed, dammit.

Bad news…I took my Geography final online earlier and somehow the computer registered my time as 30 seconds over the hour time limit. Bullshit, since I clicked submit on time, but I guess that hourglass was flipping for a bit. If she fails me because of those 30 seconds I will be vehiamently pissed off in the gonads that I don’t even have.

Psycho final tomorrow night. Yeah me.

To top it, I wasn’t able to enroll in an online communications class and nothing else is available, so no degree for me until after the Summer.

School sucks.

Nothing too exciting, but I have the November pictures of Ash up. I’ve been so busy with school I’ve barely had time to snap pictures these days.

Just one more final Monday night and then I’m out of school for a month. About damn time.

I’m really getting tired of people who bitch about things they’re getting for free. Hellooo, free, means you’re not paying a penny, so shut up. If you’re so unhappy about what you’re getting or experiencing, then just don’t take it or go. Pretty fucking simple to me.

WebMD has not been very helpfull. All I’ve learned is if I have a combination of recurring back pain with tailbone pain then I need to contact my doctor. Well, yeah, sure, let me find a few hundred bucks to hand over for some x-rays that probably won’t find a thing. Yup, right on it.

The pain improved yesterday, but I imagine only because I took five Advil capsules the night before (I usually take 3 for a serious heache, so it’s really not much for my high-tolerant system). I was doing great until my Astronomy class last night, and either the drive, or the few hours in a chair watching a video, created enough tension to bring it back. Ugh. Major pain last night, but it’s lessened today thank goodness. Now if I could just get rid of this “I feel like I’m going to puke” sensation. I’d like to go for a walk or do cardio tonight, but I guess that’s a “we’ll see”.

I think I fucked up my back at the gym on Saturday. At least that’s the only thing that I can possible think of that could’ve caused this awful pain. I’m pretty sure I did it when unloading the 45lb free weights from the leg press. Instead of putting them on the squat bars, it seems I did the stupid thing and placed them on the lower rack next to the press, straining my back. Buggers. It really pisses me off when people don’t remove the weights from the bars. Not all those using the free weights are top heavy buffoons, ya know?

As soon as I can get the recliner to massage again, I’ll be planting my ass there. Then, maybe one of these days I’ll figure out why my butt constantly feels bruised. Last I checked I haven’t landed on my butt, so who knows. Probably one of those phantom pains that come and go with me.

I found out tonight that the lousy exam (”Celebrations” as my teach calls them) won’t be calculated in my exam average, as he drops the lowest score. Thanks to my previous ones I now have a B average, plus my homework and quizes. I imagine I’ll get out of the class with a B, but I suppose it all depends on how I do on the Final. Less than two weeks and I’m done with school. What fucking joy that thought brings me.

Now, to finish my paper on closing the US borders. Why the hell I picked such a controversial topic for my Geography class I have no clue. This should be very interesting, but at least I know there will be a plethora of resources to utilize.

I had another group therapy session this morning, and I’m actually going to admit I think it was helpful. In fact, as much as I’d like to believe I don’t need it, I’ve been enjoying these things, and I walk out of the room of people with a much more positive attitude. These days, that means something, so I’ll take it. Of course, the “praying to the Lord is the only way to be a better person” woman is reeally getting to me, but luckily they cut her off after a sentence or two. It’s group therapy, not preaching time.

Aside from therapy, my meds seem to work somewhat reasonably, and I’m improving on my avoidance issues. I hate taking my meds these days because all off a sudden I’ve started getting an upset stomach around ten minutes later. Nothing serious, but it sure does mess with my mind when I’m trying to get my butt out of bed to take the pills before going to sleep.

School…is school, I guess. Like I mentioned, I’m not avoiding things as usual, or not puting them off as much. I even studied pretty hard core for my Astronomy test last week, hours, days, typed up all my notes. The shitty thing? All that preparation and I received an F. Nice. I just don’t get it. My first test I had the highest in the class, and I didn’t study, the second one, I had a low B after briefly studying. And then this, studying my ass off, and failing. I’m really trying to find the logic there. Makes me want to drop back into my good ole procratinating and avoidance shit. Gah.

Thanksgiving happened just spiffy, and we spent the evening at John’s brother’s. For once, I wasn’t stressed about how Ashleigh would be and went and had a good time. Again, much improvement on my end. I am wishing we could do more for Christmas, but it looks to be a minimal one another year in a row. It’s a good thing I bought Ashleigh’s single birthday and Christmas gifts back when we had the money, because we sure don’t have it now. I’d love to have even a table-top tree, any tree, but I’ll have to live without.

I love this time of year, but I hate it at the same time. Growing up and watching all the kids at school celebrate Christmas, wishing I could receive just one present, it frustrates me that the only thing keeping me from celebrating now is finances. I’m aware Ashleigh won’t care too much this year, but man, I do. The lights will go up sometime this week, even if they’re on the wall or around furniture. It’s not a big deal to John, as he grew up with the festivities, but it’s a HUGE deal to me. If I had the money, I’d be giving gifts to everyone I knew because that’s what I love to do, make people smile with “the perfect gift” for them.

I’m making cards this season, since it’s something I can do without spending anything. It is very difficult to kick the hints of depression, with the longing lingering. I don’t know how families with multiple kids afford holidays, but right now I’ll do anything I can to enjoy this one. I don’t care about the commercialism, nor about the origins of the holiday. To me it is a time to share what you can with the ones you care about and dammit, I’m doing to do what I can.

At least there’s some good news around here. I managed to earn oodles of Snapfish credits, so now I have a pile of pictures from the last few months, just waiting to be scrapped. I imagine once school is out in a couple weeks I’ll utilize my month off plenty.

Ashleigh just threw her diaper down the hall (the saga never ends), so time to chase the kid down. I can not wait for the three day vacation…by myself.