We have a new member of the family. His name is Tivo. Tivo rocks. I now see the ability to pause tv while I deal with Ash or whatever as one of the greatest things invented. If the machine wasn’t plugged in I think I’d be huggin it right now.

Just ’cause, because I know not all reads check my Scrappin’ page, I’m sharing my newest result of two-hours of scrappy fun. Sunny Day

And yes, I’m aware my comments are beyond funked out, as the bug that’s been biting me within the night has attacked them as well. Beh. I’ll get to it. Don’t worry, I get the comments emailed to me so they’re not completely pointless.

Having issues lately, “with my issues” as John always said, as I fight my manic (maniac?) episodes. The cleaning ones, good, the ooh-I-just-got-a-shit-load-of-money-I-need-to-spend-it-all-right-now ones, bad, very, berry, weary bad.

Oh yeah, and I didn’t go to class on Tuesday, so now each and every class following such has been so very difficult to attend. I MUST fight the urge to act on the “oh fuck it, I’ll deal with it next week” thoughts crawling among the neurons.

Remember the Boggle Deluxe I was drooling for sometime last year? I was sooo tempted to hand over the $35 plus for the game on eBay, but now I’m glad I pulled my Mom’s “I’ll find it cheaper somewhere else” thinking. I snagged my very own Boggle Deluxe today, for only $14.99. That’s right, I’m good. Now if only I had friends to play it with, or John would fucking play it with me without pouting it’d be even better.

Insomnia has posessed me as of late and has become quite annoying and detrimental to stayin even somewhat mental. I suppose my new contacts will help, too, as the current right-eye is slightly torn and causing me to look like a mad, blinking woman.

Next subject change, heading to bed, or maybe not, just can’t think of anything else to blather.

A positive mention for a change. Yesterday I received an email from my Astronomy teacher and apparently I received the highest grade in the class on our Thursday exam. Right on. Now, I’ll be happy if I pass my Government exam, but this, this is good. So far, I’m on the track for an A in two classes. Good good good.

It’s the simple things in life, right?

I’m definitely feeling better now. After a sudden phone call, an hour later the Frontier was sold, and things started looking better once again. I have a pile of envelopes (fifteen, actually), waiting for stamps to send them on their merry way. Finally, we’re caught up, no more past due notices and miscellaneous bills piling on my desk. What a fucking relief.

I splurged…bought Ash a grocery cart at Toys R Us tonight. I’ve been meaning to pick up one of those Little Tykes ride ons (that always sound so wrong in my head), but after three stores of every other type of similar toy (including a worm thingy), I said fuck it and grabbed something else. Well, I’m going to have to find the camera and snatch one of Ash with the cart, because she was cruisin’ the apartment like nothing else tonight. And of course, beloved Fox was sitting front seat, allong for the ride.

Ten dollars, for the generic grocery cart, but my daughter doesn’t give a crap. She’s Miss Ashleigh, shopping like her life depends on it, only stopping to drink from her cardboard milk container.

What the fuck is up with MT? It’s acting all screwy lately and really pissing me off. I just don’t have the patience right now to install the new version, but suppose I’ll do that so I don’t have to deal with this shit anymore. Damn, I hate going to bed frustrated. Phooey.

I have my baby back, and it sure feels good to drive a good, heavy duty car, instead of that piece of plastic Neon thing I’ve been driving for over a week. It didn’t take much get used my 626, though I will miss having four doors.

The past two weeks have been hectic, but I’ve found myself soaking up the chaotic schedule and just going with it. Ashleigh loves her babysitter and her family, and it looks like I have someone to watch Ash if I’m unable to enroll her in the school daycare starting January. I’m not sure what I would’ve done, without a sitter the past two weeks, especially this week with two exams. There are very few people I trust, let alone enough to watch my daughter, so I guess John and I lucked out. A coworker of his suggested Rebecca, the woman who watched his two kids during the day, and she was just perfect.

Monday is the last night we do this crazy babysitting thing while John works. Maybe we’ll get back to normal, whatever that is. I’ve found myself disconnecting myself from nearly everyone and everything, dropping into survival mode. Unfortunately, I feel I’ve begun to push John and even Ashleigh away. Even though I can tell it’s happening, I can’t seem to reach out of the fog and get out of this funk.

I’m not sure if funk is really the word, but I feel like everything I do is just one big lie. It’s not like I’m lying, I’m not, I just feel like there is so much I want to do and and say right now but I can’t. Part of this is because I am still feeling tired, constantly, and I just can’t seem to wake up. Not even when I do a full workout, or go swimming! I hate this feeling, and I wish all my efforts to get out of this haziness would just fucking work. Bleh.

Does anyone else have a child who is obsessed with cottage cheese? I have my girl’s sweet little voice running through my head “cottage cheeeeeese!” (cottage is said extremely fast, as one syllable almost) She even recognizes the red Albertson’s container as we’re walking down the aisle. I find it a little troubling, but at least she wants something that’s good for her, instead of the snacks we’re trying to wean her from.

I suppose I should go to bed now. In reality, I’ll lay there, unable to sleep for an hour or so, eventually flipping back and forth from music videos or cheesy paid programming. Tonight may be different, though, as my brain is still stuffed with nine chapters of astronomy (whew, another month before the next exam). Maybe I’ll dream of Nutrinos or something.

If I could only find out why I’m so exhausted these days. I slept all weekend, tired of fighting it, and I slept a good chunk today, too. School takes extra time and energy, but this is crazy. Even after sleeping seven hours, I’m barely able to keep my eyes open, and it’s all I can do to take care of Ash.

Eh, maybe I’m not getting enough Iron, so I’ll start taking some SlowFE tomorrow, see if that helps. Three tests this next week, and I imagine falling asleep while studying will not benefit me.

Uh, and now I feel my stomach churning. Not a good sign. G’night.

Now this just pisses me off (thanks for the heads up, Mikey). The California Assembly failed to extend Megan’s Law. In their rush to finish their business, they managed to extend the damn Recall, but FORGOT about Megan’s Law. In case you’re not aware, it’s the law that makes the sex offender registry available to the public. Now, the law expires next January and we’re left to keep our children safe on our own. Dildos run Sacramento, did ya know?

Damn, I need to get out of this state.

Well, we picked up my car last Saturday. Unfortunately, the transmission was still wonky and the overdrive was no longer working, so it’s back in the shop. Of course, our guys always take care of us, and they hooked me up with a rental car until all is good.

Now, I could definitely get used to driving a new car, but there is one downside to driving a rental car, especially when it’s in a color I would never, ever own (almond, light tanish). It took me at least five minutes to find the damn car after class tonight. I was walking around the full parking lot, wishing I had the nifty “oh shit, where’s my car” key chain that John has for his work truck (it beeps and flashes the lights).

Apparently Dodge Neons blend into their surroundings, because I must’ve walked by it a few times before I actually saw the thing. Sheesh. I think I’m counting spaces next time.

That’s about it right now. Ash is with a baby-sitter for the next two weeks while I’m in my classes (John is working overnights), and I’m just plugging along. I’ve never had so much reading for classes, but at least the homework is very minimal, and I’ve retained the knowledge long enough to fair well on quizes. Such fun.

Oh, and is/was anyone out there who obsesses with keeping their textbooks in good condition? I won’t throw everything in my backpack because I don’t want the softcovers to get ruined. Why? Because the better condition, the more I get on Half.com. Considering that each book was at least $90, I’m looking to get back as much mulah as I can.

Anyhow, that’s it. Time for me to go take my meds and “no more babies” pills to ward off the baby-making vibes that are seriously going around these days. Good for them, not for me.

Okay, so it’s only six (I believe this is an all-time low since Ash was born), but here are the pictures for August. My little fishy enjoying the water at night.

Not a hell of a lot going on here lately, just me trying not to stress about school, and trying to just enjoy things. Saturday night the three of us joined John’s brother and his family at their local park for a “Concert in the Park”. I’m glad I went, and even though Ash became restless towards the end, we had a good time. Watching her do her little jig and clapping during some of the music was just too much, and I believe the laughing really did me some good.

Sunday night I managed a couple pages of scrapbooking while we watched The Recruit (good movie, though somewhat predictable in that non-predictable way). And that’s about it. Here’s the pages to prove I did something: Splish Splash