Ashleigh is asleep, on the floor, on the other side of the gate in the doorway. Poor girl is refusing to sleep in her toddler bed, but at least she’s sleeping. One of these days I’ll have to take some pictures of “Fox”, the poor animal scrunched against her face, covered in drool. Since Seattle, that is THE thing we MUST have before walking out the front door. I suppose we lucked out she didn’t pick a queen size blanket as an all-purpose-snuffle-soother-thingy.

G’night. Time to pop the Lithium (a few hours late) and hope tomorrow I’m as mediocre as it can get.

Update: I remembered this picture from Seattle with Ashleigh and her new permanent attachment. That would be Fox in her right hand, with the Cowboys lettering already worn off. Thank the beanie makers he’s washable.

Doing fine, here, just getting settled in. I’ve actually had dsl since Tuesday, but haven’t had the energy to sit and type something up. All week John and I took turns sleeping on the recliner or twin air mattress, until last night when we finally had our own bed. Finally. Now, this is home.

Our newest struggle is getting Ash to sleep in her toddler bed on her own. Lately, one of us has to sit with her until she falls asleep and this is getting quite old and annoying. I guess the gate is going to have to stay up so she has no choice but to go back to bed, because the 10 or 11pm bedtime is not cutting it.

Off to the gym in a little bit, hopefully getting back on track in that area. I’ve fallen in love with doing laps in the pool lately, so I just plug through my cardio and weights, just to make it to the pool. Back and forth, back and forth, it has become quite refreshing and medicinal.

And maybe, just maybe, I’ll even get some scrapbooking in tonight. I have my colors picked out for the Seattle Trip, but there’s a couple months before then to tackle. I managed a two-page layout a couple weeks ago at a scrap night, yet there’s 70 more pictures to go. At least this is something enjoy doing.

We’re over half-way done. Whew. Taking down the computers now and moving the couches and rest of the shit today. We slept over there last night because we love it so much and it’s a hell of a lot cooler there. Felt good, but now we’re back at it. I’ll be back on the 25th. Hopefully nothing retarded happens between now and then.

Each day since Saturday we’ve made a trip to the new apartment, gradually making a new home. I dislike our current one and love our new one so much I got up at 5:30AM to have John drop us off this morning on the way to work.

So far there’s the love seat and coffee table, an inflatable mattress, most of Ashleigh’s toys (even though she hasn’t even noticed them), and the majority of kitchen and bath stuff. Big items will go this weekend, because Tuesday is the day DirecTV is activated and for some reason I have to actually be there. DSL is the 25th, but at least I’ll be able to feed my soul with one of the two computers in the Business Center.

I like the fact that I am only a few minutes from a Bakers, though on the weight-loss, gettin’ all fit score card it’s not exactly a good thing.

John seems to be lighter, or shall I say, less disgruntled, since he started his new job. Granted, he’s been out in Palm Springs a couple times, suffering in 110+ weather, but he tells me it’s worth it.

Eh, just a few bits tonight, because I’ll be running around tomorrow. Talk about last minute, I’ll be getting my levels checked tomorrow (appointment on Friday, hope he’ll get the results in time). Then, off to get the last motor mount replaced, finally. It took a couple months to get the damn part in for some fucked up reason, so I’m planning on squeezing an oil change and tune-up out of them, seeing as how Steve usually hooks us up.

I’ll leave you with some shots of the new apartment, empty, before we landed and took posession. I laugh at the shot of Ash’s bathroom. There’s some discoloration from the previous floor matts (much like the one we’ll be leaving behind at this place in our kitchen), but no matter what angle you look at the room, you can NOT see it. Trust me. But take a picture, and there ya go. Doesn’t matter, considering we’ll be putting our own right on top in the same places. Oh yes, now Ash’s bath toys have their own home for once.

Moving in 100 degree weather is just SO much fun. You should try it. Heh.

Everyone knows that if you plan and stress about something then it just never works out, always gets fucked up. Well, just like John and his job (heard about it and applied same day, had the job two days later), we fell in love with a new apartment last Friday, came back Monday to add ourselves to the waiting list, ended up applying for a specific one, and were approved yesterday. With no extra deposit. Woo hoo!

Get this. The apartments are already PREWIRED WITH DIRECTV. Wow. We were drooling. To those who don’t have it, I’m sure you won’t understand why it’s such a big deal, but if you have Directv you know why we’re dancing in our nonexistant panties. We get the shit, all the channels, sports packages, and NO DISH. Another wow.

Anyhow, we’re signing the lease tomorrow, and get free rent until September, when we’ll pay our first month. No first, last crap, no increased deposit because of my crappy credit (they just used his because I’m a student *snort*). Oh, and a free cooler, not a big deal, but I love freebies, and since we’d checked it out at Target recently, and we’re getting it for nothing now, it’s a bonus.

Our DSL will be hooked up on the 25th, so you can bet your patooties we’ll have our office set up by then. I’d like to be moved in by the first week of August, because John is leaving on a business trip (with his new sweet-ass non micro-managing job). I know Ash will be missing him and I’d rather have things somewhat normal, instead of half-moved and shit.

I am happy. I am so fucking happy this heat isn’t really bothering me anymore. Finally, we’re rounding that corner and getting somewhere. I am so lucky to have John and Ashleigh, I can’t even imagine my life without them. Life rocks right now.

So I’ve realized I’ve been back from Seattle for over a week and I never wrote up even a brief summary of the trip. Of course, being that I was sick when I arrived home, and as much as I enjoyed seeing my friends and family, I was feeling the sicky crappy yuckies, and was oh so grateful for my own bed.

First, I have to say I met up with Amy, and I’m glad I did. I would’ve been kicking myself royally if I hadn’t, seeing as how I met her, THEN moved away. Sadly, I didn’t get to see all-grown-up Sam, but maybe next time. I had been there almost a week by the time we had lunch, so I suppose all the craziness of the trip helped me forget which bus tunnel stop to get off of. Jeeze, previous Metro guru, and I got off a stop too early. Finally, after speedwalking to the right tower, and doing nearly a full circle on the floor until I saw Amy, we had lunch. Well, I sorta did, since I was too busy gabbing away, and Ash was being a fussy butt.

Anyhow, I’m glad I saw Amy, even though I felt like an idiot, running late and talking about who knows what. I’m not sure why I get nervous in situations like these, especially since I’ve met her before, and only followed her life since she was pregnant. Sheesh. And of course, I remembered my camera, but forgot to take a picture. Typical.

Our days in Seattle weren’t too bad, as I enjoyed just hanging out with Gen and her family, something I miss doing. Donilyn and I did our typical “nothing” and enjoyed a couple rum and Cokes the two nights we were together.

I really wanted to go to a bar, but no such luck. Ash wouldn’t go to sleep without me every time, and I think she had a total of two naps the whole week. Yeah, and throw in that she was afraid of my dad (he’s not that bad, I’ve seen uglier Grandpas) and would NOT let go of precious Fox. Prior to the trip he was only needed at naptime and bedtime, but now it looks like Ash has a new permanent attachment. I’m not concerned, knowing many kids find something to latch onto, but I am grateful it’s not my huge panda, or big Clifford we were lugging around.

I also drove to my sister’s in Shelton and spent the day and night with her. Feels like I was there a few days, since we did more than what I usually do in a week. After getting over how much my nephew has grown, we headed out to Potlatch (will have to check with Karolyn to see if that’s right) and enjoyed a nice shaded area and the water. The sand was a bit funky, all spongy, but I had a blast, just walking in the water and enjoying the cool breeze.

That night my sister, Pauline, and I headed out to the local Casino after leaving the little ones with a sitter. Oh man, the poor sitter, but she handled it well. All Ash did was walk around whining, sucking her thumb, and holding her Fox, but finally crashed right before we got back. I came out 68 cents ahead in my gambling, but considering I’m not a gambler, and I put a whopping $6.00 on my card, not bad. It felt good to have a couple drinks (ah, my two faves, vodka n’ cran, and Lynchburg Lemondade…memories), even though the comedian in the small bar was only mediocre. I think the good jokes were all about his kids, imagine that.

Okay, so I started this post hours ago, and I’ve probably left something out, but I need to finish this before I get all rambly rambly. Besides, I have some good news to post and I don’t want to scare you all by writing so much in such a small time frame. Anyhow, I’m heading off to organize some pictures for scrapbooking. It’s been a few months since I had prints made so there are eighty to sort out. Lordy. Good thing I have a few scrap nights scheduled this month to get my butt moving on this stuff.

BTW, this is my first post done via Zempt, the nifty program that lets me post to MT from my desktop. Not a real need, but seeing as how I have this compulsive desire to close any extra browser windows and usually close my entry window because I get X-clickin’ crazy, this is a good thing.

On the drive home for the gym (no longer refreshed from my swim and shower as soon as I stepped outside), my started hurting. At first I thought it was due to my use of weights for the first time in two weeks (bad girl, bad, bad, girl, I should KNOW better). But now I’m sitting here (in another window working on my Seattle summary) and I feel like I have something inside of me. Very similar to that tight belly feeling when the pregnancy is just starting to show. My stomach feels so FULL, and even though my clothes fit me the same, I seems as if I could pop any second. Now, my back doesn’t really hurt, but I feel like I have a constant pressure there…just like when Ash used to roll and make camp against my back. This is all so very odd. ( And no, I’m NOT preggers, chill)

I’m feeling myself heading towards a major down and I’m trying very hard to fight it. Whatever is going on with my body, I’m not sure. I went a week without losing anything, yet after two weeks (one while on vacation) of not really thinking about what I ate, with little exercise, I lost two pounds. Now, I feel like crap, still dealing with this hacking cough that I’m beginning to think is some kind of “itis”, and want potato chips. Bah. Last night’s trip to the gym only consisted of five minutes eliptical, 30 minutes bike. Anything else and I would’ve collapsed. I miss my energized self and I really hope it shows up here pretty fucking soon.

I’m really frustrated right now, wishing I could just get the damn downer out of the way and rocket upwards once again. Apparently my Lithium is working, but only enough to mellow the transitions out, not remove them. I feel like I am constantly experiencing a high and low at the same time, with a carrot-dangling possibility of a rapid cycle just beyond each moment.

All day today I was sluggish, yet desiring to do so many things. My stomach churned, my head pounded, and I napped (with a comforter, in 90+ weather, ya know it’s not because I’m cold). The whole time I was itching and twitching to get up and do laundry, clean, wash dishes, anything but lay there, yet it was only Ash waking up that picked me up. It wasn’t feeling sick that drove me crazy, but the knowledge I need to rest or I’d feel worse, and I hate just doing “nothing”.

I was somewhat relieved when my appointment for the doc was rescheduled for another day. Of course, I had forgotten about getting my blood levels checked, but aside from that, I just can’t stand the guy. He doesn’t seem to care what think. I’ll tell him I don’t think the meds are working all to well and he’ll chalk it up to the things happening in my life. Yeah, life is stressful, but my medication should work then, too. Isn’t that the fucking point? Whether I need to increase or change what I’m taking, I just don’t feel comfortable talking to the guy I have now. Hopefully a decent one will be available near where we plan to move in a bit. All I know is I shouldn’t fear going to my head doc.

Anyone care to rent or even just borrow an 18 month old for a couple hours, even days? Trust me, I’ll get back to you ASAP if you’re interested.

Thank goodness for Celebrex, or today would have comletely sucked. Since I made it home from Seattle I’ve had this sucky cold, and though it’s started to go away, I’m left with this annoying throat tickle and hacking cough. It’s just so flattering. Shoulda seen me in Hooters yesterday, enjoying my 25 cent Mile High wings, my nose dripping, gooey hands reaching for the paper towels, and trying not to cough every two seconds. Mmm, yeah. At least the food and women were good.

Bah. I have so much running around in my head but I get all flustered when I try to figure out how to say it. I’m in a cranky mood, even with the coolest man on earth treating me like a queen today.

Ash. She is so cute but damn it’s like she woke up and decided “I’m not going to listen to mom anymore and see how pissed off she gets”. Well, she saw, and now I’m pissed, but more at myself. I feel like all I’m doing is yelling her name to get her attention, or asking her what’s wrong (she KNOWS how to tell me, the little shit), and all I get is rolled eyes (at 18 months?!?!?!), or the kiss-hug-the-wall and pouting just out my reach. God daaaamn, John has the driving range, I need my own place to go besides this damn computer.

Oh yeah, I did manage to do something the past couple days: Ashleigh photos for the month of June (last half are from Seattle). And yes, I’m aware that she’s in the water for the majority of them. So she’s a water baby, I get it.

Is there any wonder why I haven’t had the energy to type up a summary of last week? This is crazy, and to make it worse, there is next to no wind out there. Bah. I have no idea how John is surviving out in the desert today. Someone please remind me why I am glad I moved to Southern California?

I still hear the ocean in my right ear, thanks to flying with a cold. Ugh.