I NEED to get this out of my system. I HATE WRITING COVER LETTERS!!! Jesus Christ, I can put together a kick ass resume, perform well at an interview, write poetry, stories, have coherant conversations yet I sit and stare at a screen for-ev-er when it comes to these things. ARGH!

Yes, it looks like I’m going back to work. If you couldn’t tell, I am NOT happy with the idea. I don’t even want to get into the whole “leaving Ashleigh with someone else” issue. This mom is freaking out. See, apparently the Social Security Disibilty department thinks I’m stable now that I’m on meds. HAH! I am so far from stable (just ask John’s family and they can vouch for that). Yeah, I’m popping my Lithium, but that means NOTHING. Me and the doc are still tweaking with the levels and we’re nowhere near done. Grrrrrrr.

So I’m hunting for a job, scouting for a day care, and hoping it all works out in the next four weeks, when unemployment benefits run out. Anyone in the Southern California/San Diego area know of a nifty job opp? Do tell.

I am so fucking annoyed right now. If I had known how difficult it would be to create or find an image of a damn salt shaker or peanut I wouldn’t have started trying. ARGH!!! Now if Dell would understand that they could send me the damn graphics tablet and add it to the financing it was originally purchased on then I’d have it and I’d be able to draw me a peanut. Or two peanuts, or ten trillion. But I can’t, because they’re idiots and have taken TEN months to process an order for a graphics tablet. Can we say re-tah-ded?

At least they’re not asking for money for it, but the point is I wanted it months ago, and I can’t run out to a store and get one now. Dagnabbit. So, I sit in a complete mind funk, unable to come up with a design for my new domain.

Anyways, on another note, I can forget about being thrilled with the “New Management” that’s plastered across the entrance of our complex. Turns out the Assistant Manager I had told to fuck off a couple months ago (before I was on meds and she was telling me what to do with my daughter) is new Manager. Lovely. Thank god for the rent drop outside the office (which we paid today, a god damn record for us).

And yes, you’re not seeing things, my profanity is a little up tonight. I’m actually in a good mood, really. We finally hit Home Depot (in case you didn’t know, nearly anything important besides clothes can be found there, but if you don’t get that joke, sorry, I have to use sarcasm to deal with John’s job) and bought us a couple fans. These fans kick ass! Of course, anything beats the possessed fan we had previously had that finally fizzled out. It would start fine, rotate from left to right, but on its way back to the left it would slow down and nearly turn off; rinse, repeat, rinse repeat. Then one day it just stopped. Nadda. So the fact that these fans are so powerful they almost push Ashleigh out of my arms, I am one thrilled Southern Californian.

Oh, yah, to anyone considering getting Adelphia Cable in Southern Cali, a warning: They suck! Okay, I don’t know what they suck (maybe rat’s patootie) but their ads that tout “hundreds of channels” is pure bull shit. When I lived in Seattle and had AT&T Digital Cable there were hundreds of channels, not this imitation crap, where at least three channels are shared (Cartoon Network half the time with CSPAN for example), and we don’t have all the Discover or Sports Channels (how dare they deprive me).

The point to all this: we signed up for Direct TV today. Only $7.84 to sign up for two rooms. We’d been comparing the difference between them and the Dish and it was an easy choice. Direct TV has the sports package which includes the YES Network. Also, the most important feature is the ability to buy the MLB Extra Innings, or NHL Center Ice season packages. If I can’t watch my hockey next season I will be more than just irritated. So, Direct TV it is. And yes, my name is Alicia and I am addicted to hockey (though I did refrain from applying for a job with the WHL up in Calgary; I have limits).

Enough miscellaneous paragraphs of my life. Time to go catch some sleep because who knows when Ashleigh, the amazing rolling over and drooling machine, will wake up on her stomach and scream because she doesn’t know how she got there.

Just a brief moment to let everyone know that Ash is now rolling…regularly. We put her on her back…and she rolls. And then get’s pissed off because she can’t go anywhere yet. She’s cracking me up, but at the same time we’re frustrated with her frustration.

Also, she was 16 lbs. 5 oz. and 24 inches long at her check up. The same check up she received four shots and then proceeded to pout at mommy until daddy came home to rescue her. Thank god she has a short memory and forgot about it the next morning. Her sleeping schedule has been wacked since then, but oh well. At least she’s sleeping.

Just a quick note that I’ve switched to a new host so if something starts looking a little odd, that’s why. Everything should go smoothly, but you never know.

All this is hopefully going to get me out of this damn creativity funk. I am so tired of purple and would like to create a design so different from any previous ones, but no ideas have leaked out. Eventually, right?