impressions
An article sits on the table next to my laptop awaiting analysis and an abstract and yet it has been untouched for hours. I sit with my fleece-warmed feet propped on the bench, headphones upon my ears and liquid caffeine on ice purposefully placed just-so to the right of my mouse. My mind is ready to write, to ooze out the confusion, questions and wonderment swishing inside the past few days. If only I could stop interrupting my own thoughts.
I am blunt. Very rarely have I ever been described as being subtle. My talent for creatively displaying my thoughts and opinions only exists on screen or paper, leaving face to face interactions somewhat entertaining at times. That said, when I want something, I go for it, and when I am interested in someone, I pursue. I am obvious and I definitely don’t know how to play shy. What keeps me from pressing someone against a wall and kissing them is only the surrounding world’s judgments and how such actions would create negative consequences.
As I’ve listened to my usual obsessive songs the past few hours, I’ve considered recent history. Does my assertiveness bother others? I’ve received mixed messages over the years and I suppose I’ll never reach any sense of understanding. But I do feel better, even if all I did was temporarily spout a thought or two.
Perhaps I’m a bit selfish, but there’s no sense in living a life if I’m not enjoying it and the pursuit of good things.
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