Look at me
I still look forward to Sunday and the newest uploads at Post Secret. As a self-described people watcher, it’s always interesting to see what people send in, to read what others consider such unspeakable secrets.
This one caught my attention more than the others:
“I Don’t like it when my husband looks in my eyes when we have sex. He might see my secret“
For years I couldn’t look people in the eyes, and for similar reasons as on the postcard. I’ve always had a strong handshake, something Grandma Hansen insisted upon when she spoke of her travels, when she asked me if I had any boyfriends (at age 12 even). “A real man will have a strong handshake. No matter his age, if it is weak, he is just a boy.” Yet when she used to tell me to look in their eyes, smile, and shake their hands, I’d smile, and glance away.
The double-life bit I lived growing up had me weary, reluctant to be me, the one who didn’t give a crap about God’s word, the one who never stopped asking questions, the crazy girl who just wanted to have fun. I used to dream of traveling like my Grandma, being free, but I held back, I played the shy one for a while.
At some point I started losening up, just put myself out there, began looking at people. I found not only did I love the feeling of smiling, of meeting others, I was intrigued. I discovered how much eyes really disclosed, and I loved it, wanted more, searched.
Possibly a reason why I am so fascinated with mouths and eyes when I’m drawing? Perhaps.
Interesting how a simple postcard can send me into retrospect. I actually like it, kinda fun, especially knowing I’m still young and in another ten and twenty years my reflections will include much more.
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jaboobie said,
August 1, 2005 @ 5:55 am
I love PostSecret. I wish they posted everyday.
One of these days I’ll send in one of mine.
I like how the postcards are so different. One might be a silly number about peeing in the pool then the next is a devastating look into people who’ve really been hurt.
Stacie said,
August 1, 2005 @ 4:01 pm
I love PostSecret, too. The guy who they send them to lives right up the road from me. Small world, eh?
I love the peoplewatching, too, girl. PostSecret is definately a window for us.